Divisible of Five
Tonight, while smoking out of a bong with my frat friends, I had a vision. I had to leave at a time divisbile by 5. I don’t know why.. but it just sort of happened and I was scared to leave at any other time than one that could be divided by 5. Like, 1:20 would work but not 1:22.
For example, we decided (the girls) we wanted to leave at 1 but then it turned 1:01 so I INSISTED on leaving at 1:05 precisely. I ended up having to kind of run out but it all worked out in the end (yes, others left first).
*PHEW*
CHINESE FORTUNES
[MAKE SURE WHEN YOU READ THIS YOU IMAGINE IT IN A ZOOLANDER-ESQUE ACCENT.]
Tonight I ate at a Chinese restaurant, some call it “Asian Gourmet.” Actually, everyone calls it that because that is the name of the restaurant. Well not that… Asian Gourmet <— name of restaurant (that is not literally the name of the restaurant, idiot.). Ok, my point. At the end, after my bratty sister left early..5 fortunes arrived. Leaving me with two. That was fun.
side note. I don’t hate my sister. But she was being a brat.
Then, i proceed to… oh yeah, i saw a cat! A lucky Japanese cat. I like them and I am trying to start a collection but they wouldn’t give me it for free. It was so sad.
side note. apparently i’m a bitch, sorry i don’t like when people ask a lot of questions. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes you have to fend for yourself! So when people ask me 9230850298 questions, I get angry.
ok so my point.. we read the FORTUNES, obviously. There were FIVE FORTUNE COOKIES! Do you know how excited I was to find 5 fortune cookies right in front of my face???? YES! Anyways, as always, the fortunes disappointed. Like..what the hell?…
“when you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” - that is ridiculous!!! I mean, who are you to tell me that i NEED to change!?! I didn’t mean to write it in italics but I am so outraged that a stupid little cookie would tell me to change. Fortunes should make you feel happy about the future, not scared that you aren’t good enough as you are..or something.
Anyways, i read the next fortune. “you have a reptuation for being straightforward and honest.” Now, fine, that’s good and all but I want a fortune. I dont’ want a statement. I don’t care if you think i’m honest and nice… or a bitch. I want to know things in the future. Tell me!!!
ROAR don’t call yourself a fortune & then make some ridiculous, outrageous statement that makes me disappointed and angry. FUCK YOU FORTUNE COOKIE SLUT.
The last fortune I am going to read says “a feeling is an idea with roots”—> again, i don’t care if a feeling is somehow related to roots. I don’t want to think that my feelings are some kind of tree-thing that everyone can enjoy and see. I want to know that my feelings are genuine and pure. I am so offended that a little chinese disgusting tasting fortune cookie would tell me that my feelings are nothing more than a tree with roots. alright. okk.
and to finish this ridiculous, dramatic, and probably really weird post, i am going to tell you guys, that i have a typing speed of 126 wpm and it often causes me to recieve creepy facebook messages from ethnic men. Goodbye.
High on Life [weed]
I’m writing this, which obviously means i’m really high. high enough where i need a munchie distraction method or something. I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have gotten high tonight, seeing as I was trying to cut back (terrible idea, right?) but how can i say no to free pot? I mean..that’d be like….. disastrous. I don’t know. I had a bad stomach ache anyways and it made me feel better..although i feel kinda sick again. Life is really short and I just think we should all be happy. I mean…. little issues, are really little. Life is good… I wish i realized this more when I was feeling shitty. Live Life. ok. I’m going to go because I know I just am going nowhere with this post.
peace.love.ganja.
High Playlist
What is on your high-list?
1. Pure Imagination - Maroon 5
2. Sleepyhead- Passion Pit
3. Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding (Jakwob remix)
4. Because I got High - Afroman [never gets old]
5. Who Says - John Mayer
6. Fireflies - Owl City
7. Dark Fantasy - Kanye West
8. I’m on Fire - John Mayer (originally Bruce Springstein)
9. I’m Stoned - Slightly Stupid
10. Harry Potter Theme Song
“wow, I don’t drink very much anymore. I’m a stoner.”
Me
Deep thoughts at a hockey game…
Yes. I am stoned at a nhl hockey game. Anyway, in the middle of the chaos that the game was causing, I had a thought. What if the way you think others perceive you is wrong? What if your entire perception of the world/others is off and you need to open up your mind? Just a thought. Things may be different (better, perhaps) than you think ;)
Dinner
I am sitting at a restaurant called gordon biersch brewing company. I am anxiously awaiting my seafood cobb salad and am disappointed to find out that the plates our waiter brought us are not for bread but rather are for sharing our food (sharing will not take place). Omg food is here byeeeeee
watch this stoned. It will be sure to freak you out.
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